In the February Issue:
You have been believing some real untruths (okay, I’m going to go ahead and say lies) about yourself, and this is holding you back from reaching your TRUE level of Success. By “lies” I mean: “stories”, and by “reaching” I mean: “defining”.
What we know about ourselves was actually imposed on us from a very early stage. This means that how we view ourselves is actually through someone else’s lens, before we even have a chance to decide if it fits what truly defines us.
Most of us were told to follow a certain path to success: go to school, get the education, be sure to get a higher education, get the job, get the promotion, etc. Essentially, we are conditioned to use someone else’s (corporate) scale to measure our own success.
This, in turn, leaves us not knowing the true definition of success. We are tied to the stories that we were told especially when trying to carve out our own path as entrepreneurs, then we doubt whether or not we are capable of following through on it.
Our stories can sound like: “It's not the right time”, “That costs too much”, “I have too many things on the go”, “I don't need that”, “I don't know enough”, “I’m not capable enough”, “I won't fit in”, “I will be judged”, “No one will support me”. Or my personal favourite: “No one will take me seriously”.
What you need to do is challenge that thinking, so you can reframe it. In other words, un-tell a story that you were told so you can re-tell it your own way. It starts with this realization: How do you know that you can’t do something if you’ve never tried it? How are you anticipating failure without truly knowing what success is?
Success is a relative term; how one person defines it is not (or should not be) how another person does. It can be about a dollar amount for some, while others are happy to just be in complete control of their time and freedom. My own definition of success means having different segments through which I express myself creatively while earning an income. Part of my own “un-telling” was to stop limiting myself. By reframing your thinking and un-telling those old stories, you are challenging the status quo that makes you limit your capabilities and shrink in order to fit in. So as you encounter roadblocks, due to your previous conditioning, work on shifting your Mindset by asking yourself these four things:
- Is this true?
- Where did this story come from?
- How can I redefine this story on my terms?
- How will this contribute to my success?
You are here because you have an impact to make, but you have to believe that first. So un-tell your stories and push past the mediocrity so you can be your own authentic definition of success.
Christen N. James (fondly known as CJ) is a Side Biz Coach and Host of The Shine to FIVE™ Method for Side Hustlers Podcast. She is a Certified Life Skills Coach, Certified Master Mindset Coach and Reiki Practitioner with BA in Psychology and Certification in Solution-Focused Therapy.
She created The Shine to FIVE™ Method Coaching system to help women-identified professionals push past mediocrity and challenge the status quo so they can SHINE in their OWN Businesses. With her 3D Exit Strategy™ (Decide, Dedicate, Depart),
CJ helps her demotivated clients heal and feel successful (by defining success on their terms) in their OWN Businesses so they can break up with their Employee Mindset and confidently walk away from their unfulfilling 9to5.
