In the October Issue:
Let’s get something out of the way from the get-go — people will try to push your boundaries. A host of presumptions arise when someone finds out that you’re in business for yourself. They assume you have more time than you do. They assume your flexibility means you can be flexible around their schedule, rather than your own. They assume you’re so eager for business that you’ll bend over backward to make sacrifices that serve their needs.
If you’ve struggled to set boundaries in the past because they feel hard to put up, this article is for you. Leverage these tactics to give yourself breathing room to flourish in your business.
Create a Public Calendar
This might seem like an odd suggestion. After all, you shouldn’t have to advertise your every move, right? Agreed.
Still, having some transparency around your availability is a great way to let your clients know when to expect you to respond, and when they might need to wait for a response. If you’re a product-based business, offering a calendar for when orders will ship is another great way to set expectations and avoid boundary-pushing messages.
From a tool, such as Calendly or Acuity, to a simple page on your website, there are plenty of places where you can make your availability clear, known, and aligned with your brand. By offering this clarity, you’re decreasing the amount of confusion for your clients, and setting a clear boundary for your time that feels natural.
Try Saying No a Different Way
Part of the ick factor, when it comes to setting boundaries, stems from having to say no. If you’re a natural people-pleaser, then you’re familiar with this feeling. You don’t want to turn someone down. If there’s a request, you want to answer it, and exceed expectations at the same time.
To help yourself feel better, and help the message you’re delivering be better received, try rephrasing how you protect your time. Rather than saying the word no, offer an alternative solution instead.
For example, if a client is asking for you to meet after hours to finish up a project, offer to move the conversation to Voxer, and let them know the timeframe when you’ll respond. If you have a product-based business, rather than letting a customer know something isn’t available, offer to ship the product a few days ahead of schedule, just for them.
Switching up how we respond helps the other person know that we see them and acknowledge their request, without sacrificing our personal boundaries.
Avoid Over Explaining Yourself
There’s a temptation to over explain yourself when you get nervous. You want so badly for the person on the other side of the conversation to understand what you’re saying and why this matters.
Rather than diving straight into a rabbit hole of detailed reasoning, try inserting an uncomfortable pause immediately after you decline a request. Then, hold that firm boundary. Let it be a little bit awkward for a few seconds.
Chances are, you’re more squirmy about the pause than the other person. The person you’re speaking to is probably reconciling their options and thinking through how to respond. By continuing to push the issue, you’re not giving them the headspace to process and proceed gracefully, which can lead to more tense moments down the road for both of you.
Being Clear is Kind
More often than not, boundary-setting feels harder for the person who is putting up the barrier. For the other person, the opposite is actually true. It feels kind. When we’re clear with our expectations, protective of our personal space, and conscientious with how we present the boundary, the vast majority of people will respond favorably.
MEET KIMBERLY CROSSLAND
FOUNDER OF ROADPRENEUR AND CRUISIN' + CAMPFIRES
Kimberly Crossland is the founder of Roadpreneur and Cruisin’ + Campfires, two companies designed to keep families together, and living in freedom through travel and entrepreneurship. In her free time, you can find her seeking new adventures with her boys.
Connect with Kimberly HERE!
